Shudda bought the gorilla costume

This past weekend I went to explore the West Seattle garage sale for a bit with a fellow LOL team member and after feeling like Crabby Craberson most of today, now I’m super pissed that I didn’t buy that $75 full body gorilla costume I found. Why? Because on days like today, when nothing seems to make me feel better, it’s things like the gorilla costume that would come in handy. Think about all the things you could do with a gorilla costume, especially when unemployed:

1. Just look at it hanging on your door and think to yourself “my god, what has unemployment done to me?” Then put it on and chase your cats around the house.
2. Put it on and affix a sign around your neck that says “pink-slipped gorilla for hire.” Then get in your car, drive to the nearest grocery store and wander around offering to help people with their grocery shopping, yard work, and dog walking for a small fee.
3. Put it on and affix a new sign around your neck that says “pink-slipped guerrilla marketer for hire.” Drive to the water taxi, jump off and wander around downtown not saying a word. Just hand out your resume. 
4. Put it on and affix yet another sign around your neck that says “photos with a gorilla, $5″ and see how much money you can make.
5. Try wearing the costume to bed. Then, when you get up to go pee and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror you will either freak out and try to karate-chop yourself or start laughing. You might even do both, which is fine because both are funny.

Yes, I know that I am strange. But, if you keep coming back to this blog then it’s apparent that you like strange people and that’s likely because you’ve come to the realization that normal people are boring and life’s too damn serious.

Ok, enough. Off to chase the sun  – I think it crept out from behind all those gray clouds so if you are behind a desk, sitting in an office without windows, it’s time for your afternoon coffee break! 

P.S. If you want to donate $75 to me so that I can buy the gorilla costume, that would be super. I really do want it, but as an unemployed person it didn’t seem like a must have item. I hope it’s still available!