First it was the clowns getting pink-slipped and now the recession is hitting the puppets over at Sesame Street, this reduction in workforce apparently pushing Oscar the Grouch over the edge. Kudos to the brilliantly clever people over at unemploymentality.com for the Oscar report. Had to share with my readers because a) it’s really funny and b) I have nothing really clever to say today. In fact, I think I am having a case of the Mondays. Maybe it’s sympathy pain for those of you that had to get up early to drive to Rat Park where you jump on your hamster wheel and suckle from the morphine-laced sugar water dispenser all day in order to keep yourself numb to the fact that Rat Park might be sucking out your soul.
As a pink-slipped unemployed person, with this new found freedom, there are days, like today, when I sort of miss Rat Park. It was safe and familiar. I knew how my cage and wheel worked. There was the company of other rats and everyone was drinking the morphine-laced Kool-Aid. I considered myself “normal.” Now I consider myself to be a bit “abnormal” because I am choosing to hold off on my immediate return to Rat Park while I explore my new cage. Yes, I am still in a cage, at least temporarily because it’s only been 2 months post layoff and knowing that I can choose to do whatever the hell I want is totally intimidating, scary-Larry and unfamiliar! But, the cage is different than what I had at Rat Park. There are doors and windows, all of which remain open during the day and my wheel is totally pimped out! Whether or not I choose to step out of my cage and explore is competely up to me, but every day I get a little more confident. I am alone and often bored with myself, but out of the old cage nonetheless.
I understand that being fearless takes time, patience and lots of practice. I feel like “Grasshopper” trying to learn that “fear is the only darkness.” But I must say, I really hate the idea that “life’s a buffet” and I should just “dig in and try it all!” Can someone please just give me three choices because my new park – Career-change Park – is pretty overwhelming. I have decision paralysis, especially after being in a cage so long with very few choices. And, this buffet has WAY too much chocolate and other treats that seem to be giving me a muffin top! Oh well, guess I will just shut-up, embrace my muffin top and explore the buffet. Mmm, is that an ice cream cookie sandwich I see?