Code of conduct for the unemployed

Any good organization has a code of conduct or set of rules outlining the proper practices or responsibilities of an individual or an organization. So, I came up with my own set of rules for Lords and Ladies of Leisure to ensure that we as a team or as individuals live up to the mission of this organization – to force socialization, encourage laughter and support each other as we travel through unemployment land together. Pink-slips unite!

Guiding principles

a)      Find jobs through networking, online, or stalking – whatever technique will drum up the most qualified leads

b)      Apply for these jobs

c)       Wait for employers to call or email you about these jobs

d)      Hopefully interview for jobs

e)      Wait some more

f)        After you’ve grown tired of waiting, plan on doing something you enjoy because if you enjoy looking for a job then you need to find a life outside of job-hunting my friend.

g)      Oh yeah and attend one training a month at the WorkSource unemployment office so that you don’t get “flagged” in the system.  Remember – it counts as one job-search activity despite the fact that you don’t actually leave with any useful information. For fun, you might consider dragging a fellow LOL along for the ride so it’s less painful.

 

Code of conduct for group interaction

a)     Treat fellow Lords and Ladies of Leisure with respect.

b)     Don’t judge someone if they wear house pants or have a muffin top.

c)      Check your anger or negative attitudes at the door.

d)     Don’t be jerk and blame race, religion, creed or gender for your unemployment situation.

e)     Don’t dwell on the past; have a vision for where you see yourself working in the future.

f)       Share ideas, laugh a lot and have fun.

g)     Give back to the community as an individual or a group whenever possible. 

Outfitting the unemployed

a)     Most days should be spent wearing house pants; whatever level (1-5) works with your daily agenda (stick to the house pants guidelines though!).

b)     It’s ok if you own a Snuggie; just don’t wear it outside the house.

c)      Have one interview outfit dry cleaned, pressed and ready to roll.

d)     Hats and Psssssst dry shampoo are quick solutions for bed head or greasy hair.

Behavioral standards

a)     Don’t get out of bed early unless you have to. A “have to” is an activity that might get you a job. If it doesn’t get you a job, then it can wait.

b)     Showering daily is optional, especially if you are still in PJs at 3pm.

c)      Nap often.

d)     Force socialization at least 3 times a week.

e)     Feed and exercise your muffin top.

f)       Exercise your house pants.

g)     Compulsively clean, organize or disinfect your house.

h)     Work on home improvements if you’re handy.

i)       Talking to yourself, your cat, your dog, squirrels is normal – whatever you need to do so you don’t feel alone is fine.

j)       Throw yourself into your hobbies or volunteering.

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2 Comments

Filed under Life, Resources, Slightly amusing

2 responses to “Code of conduct for the unemployed

  1. don’t wear a snuggie outside? whatchutalkinabout, willis?
    http://seattlesnuggie.com/

  2. Although I am not unemployed I still love reading your blog. I have subscribed the past couple of months. I am, perhaps, in another category of unemployed, disabled. Was blind-sided by a chronic illness 5 years ago and have not been able to work and never will as time passes and the body deteriorates or progresses along this path it is on. In my case I went through most of the stages of grief before realizing I had to re-invent myself. This process also involved discovering the creative side of me that had been set aside during 31 years of work.
    Although I know you would probably prefer being gainfully employed, I would miss your wit and humor that comes through in your writing. I guess I am secretly hoping you stay unemployed so I can continue to enjoy your thoughts and observations.
    Thanks for always putting a smile on my face as I read your blog.
    Best, Fred.
    ps: if you get bored ,check out my photoblog at:
    http://bluestar2012.wordpress.com/

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