Several months ago I ran across a job posting that was being marketed as The Best Job in the World, which was basically a brilliant PR campaign and contest for the position of island caretaker for the Great Barrier Reef. I know, right? Where are these types of jobs now and why didn’t you apply, dumb-ass? Well, I didn’t apply for the obvious reason (I had what I thought was a secure job sitting on my ass at Microsoft) and after watching the winner’s application video, I’m glad I didn’t apply because I would have looked like a big ass boring loser (BABL) next to this bloke!
Ok so maybe I was underqualifed for the island caretaker position, but what about this new job posted by the U.S. Department of Labor? You think I have a shot? Comes with some cool perks like 12 weeks paid vacation and a company rocket pack. Really, the only downside to the job is the “hot-tub study” (sounds like some pretty shady shit) – but no job is perfect and beggars can’t be choosers in this job market so how do I apply?