Category Archives: Sanity tips

Make this your “Summer of George”

Seinfeld fans out there know what I’m talking about, but for those of you who don’t, watch the video clip below. Most days Seinfeld character, George Castanza, is overflowing with useless information except in this episode where George gets laid off and decides that he’s going to make this the “Summer of George.” That he’s really going to do something with this time off and he’s going to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down his chin.

Maybe we should all follow in the footsteps of George. Why not? We’ll never get this time back and the minute we step back into our employed lives (wherever that may be), we don’t want to be kicking ourselves saying “I wish I had done more with my time off.”  It doesn’t mean we don’t still job hunt. It just means that we need to try to have a life outside the job-search and quit worrying the hell out of the day.

So what’s stopping you from making this YOUR “Summer of George?”

14 Comments

Filed under Life, Sanity tips

5 things to do before you get a job

  1. Get a freaking tan. The sun is out (or was) and a good dose of Vitamin D will improve your mood. Men – your super white ass upper thighs need to see the sun for once in their life. Strap on a Speedo. Grab some SPF and head to the beach. Get creative with it. Own it. Flaunt it. Life’s short and what’s the worst that could happen? You burn your white thighs and someone may gawk? So what? When they start to gawk, walk up to them wearing “it” and ask them if they have any Grey Poupon? Why not? You’ll get a laugh. They’ll get a laugh. Everybody wins!
  2. Go on a vacation. Get out of town. Get away from the job-search, soul-search, date-search. You don’t have to spend a fortune. The goal is to shake up your ordinary routine. The routine that’s being forced and not responding to the pressure.
  3. Take a day hike during the middle of the week. Get in your car and drive 45 minutes east on I-90. There are a ton of day hikes with incredible vistas. Bring some Scooby snacks and enjoy the sights and sounds. Remember, your employed friends are enjoying the sites and sounds of cube farms across America. Weee!
  4. Have a BBQ party at noon on a Wednesday, even if it’s just with yourself.
  5. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Wear that Speedo. Start that hobby. Take that drive. Make that call. Whatever “it” is might just be the thing that opens doors to the next big thing.

14 Comments

Filed under Random thoughts, Sanity tips

Shirtless at bar before noon

YES! These guys HAVE to be unemployed. Who else would sit shirtless on the patio of a dive bar before noon on a Tuesday? They must know that Tuesday is unemployed person’s day, so cheers to them! Just wish Li’l Scoop had a camera in tow…guess I’ll have to leave it up to my imagination. Oh dear…it’s hard to look away…

2 Comments

Filed under Happy Hour, Life, Sanity tips, Slightly amusing

Spotted: pink-slips having fun

Here’s photo evidence of what can happen when you let pink-slipped unemployed people run wild with cameras in downtown Seattle on a bright sunny day. We’ll kidnap willing tourists, make friends with strangers, find peace in gum and have a lot of fun. Damn it sucks to be in the LOL crew!

3 Comments

Filed under Entertainment, Life, Sanity tips

Fear, shut yer pie hole

Normally, I do my blog posting on Mon/Wed/Friday, but the post below from Litegeist was so inspiring that I had to share. I needed some encouraging words today too because that little fucker by the name of Fear has been yammering on in the background of my mind the past couple days and now….he’s just a mumbling idiot pie hole wrapped in duct tape. Thanks Litegeist!

The Four Things You Need to Start Your Dream Job (And the one thing you don’t)
 
It’s official: there’s no more hierarchy. There are no more titles. There’s definitely no ladder with endless ambiguous rungs to be climbed. Whatever you want to do, do it. It’s the 21st century, and there’s absolutely no reason not to.

If you have a couch, a coffeemaker, a laptop, and a couple kindred like-minded souls whose talents complement yours, congratulations, you’ve got a company. With the multitude of how-to’s and tutorials on the web, the amazing software available, and the ease with which you can now create business cards and websites, there is absolutely nothing standing in the way of you doing exactly what you want to do, exactly the way you want to do it.

For example, I want to make viral interactive experiences. Taking something static and making it in to a three-dimensional, dancing, singing, cursing, wriggling rich interactive experience is the thing that makes my heart pound, my eyes glaze, and time streak away in dripping technicolor, like a butterfly made of toast and butter in a Lewis Caroll movie. And that conviction, that spasm of glee, is the only foundation, the only certification (I am recasting this word to now mean steeped in certitude) I need to begin.  But it took me a while to realize this.

For months I’ve been waiting for a Creative Director position. I figure if I can just get someone to look at my portfolio, affirm my awards, make little nodding sounds of approval as I discuss synergy and metrics, I can then finally, finally make viral interactive experiences. But then it hit me: I could just go ahead and start making viral interactive experiences now. So I am.

I am writing a novel, which will eventually become a screenplay, which will eventually be promoted via a viral marketing campaign including posters, videos, websites, blogs, whisper campaigns, mullets, cherries, the number 5, baby rattles, and much, much more.

Now that I know this, I am working in leaps and bounds to make it happen. I have already become proficient in Pages and Iweb, which is riveting in this freaky, giddy, Faustus, unearthing creative fashion. Next up is photoshop and Imovie, and maybe a little Garage Band, who knows? Knowing that creativity is my core gift, I will apprentice myself to each and every tool that will allow me to flow in my natural-born talents.

Most importantly, I won’t wait for some arbitrary nod of approval to begin my heart-pounding, insomniac-inducing, giddy-glee career pursuits. I want to begin my dream job now. I have all the kindling to ignite my creative destiny, and I’m going to go from apathetic lighter-flicker to full-on passionate pyro. Permission granted, Self. Let the flames of creativity begin.

The moral of the story is,  don’t wait for a job offer, a shiny office, a fancy title, 401k, or whatever else you think you need to reassure you that you are what you already know deep down you are. Act first, and the fancy titles and 401k will come naturally. I promise. Or if they don’t, your life will be so awesome you won’t care.

4 Comments

Filed under Guest Bloggers, Life, Sanity tips

Shudda bought the gorilla costume

This past weekend I went to explore the West Seattle garage sale for a bit with a fellow LOL team member and after feeling like Crabby Craberson most of today, now I’m super pissed that I didn’t buy that $75 full body gorilla costume I found. Why? Because on days like today, when nothing seems to make me feel better, it’s things like the gorilla costume that would come in handy. Think about all the things you could do with a gorilla costume, especially when unemployed:

  1. Just look at it hanging on your door and think to yourself “my god, what has unemployment done to me?” Then put it on and chase your cats around the house.
  2. Put it on and affix a sign around your neck that says “pink-slipped gorilla for hire.” Then get in your car, drive to the nearest grocery store and wander around offering to help people with their grocery shopping, yard work, and dog walking for a small fee.
  3. Put it on and affix a new sign around your neck that says “pink-slipped guerrilla marketer for hire.” Drive to the water taxi, jump off and wander around downtown not saying a word. Just hand out your resume. 
  4. Put it on and affix yet another sign around your neck that says “photos with a gorilla, $5” and see how much money you can make.
  5. Try wearing the costume to bed. Then, when you get up to go pee and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror you will either freak out and try to karate-chop yourself or start laughing. You might even do both, which is fine because both are funny.

Yes, I know that I am strange. But, if you keep coming back to this blog then it’s apparent that you like strange people and that’s likely because you’ve come to the realization that normal people are boring and life’s too damn serious.

Ok, enough. Off to chase the sun  – I think it crept out from behind all those gray clouds so if you are behind a desk, sitting in an office without windows, it’s time for your afternoon coffee break! 

P.S. If you want to donate $75 to me so that I can buy the gorilla costume, that would be super. I really do want it, but as an unemployed person it didn’t seem like a must have item. I hope it’s still available!

6 Comments

Filed under Life, Outfitting, Sanity tips, Slightly amusing

Back to reality

From 80 degrees and sunny to 50 degrees and rainy. It’s a real treat to be back. Why would anyone want to wear shorts and flip flops when you could be in flannel house pants and fleece jackets in May? And the whole idea of sitting in a beach chair oceanside sipping your morning coffee watching the sunrise, pondering snails and listening to the ocean kiss the shore is over-rated. relaxation station

Ok, enough with the sarcasm. I’ll admit it – the vacation was amazing and just what the doctor ordered. I strongly encourage every person who lost their job to go on vacation if they can afford it. If you don’t have any money in your rainy day fund, then ask your employed friends and family if they would be willing to donate some airline miles to your cause. Or, try eating PBJs and Top Ramen for a month and use the remaining grocery money for an airplane ticket out of Seattle. Do whatever you can to get out of your daily routine and unplug from your reality. It helps, believe me.

While my reality is still pretty much the same (still jobless with a mortgage), I do have a little more clarity about what I’d like to do next with my life and it’s pretty risky, especially in this economy. But, I think it’s worth the risk because as cliche as this is going to sound, life really is short and I don’t want to have any regrets. And for the past ten years, I’ve had the same big ass regret staring me in the face and it’s time to smack it down.

More to come on this later, just wanted to share my initial thoughts post vacation. Oh and the muffin top is very brown and a little bigger – oops. Guess those are signs of a relaxing vacation! Now it’s time to download photos and re-live my vacation from the comfort of my house pants. Lates!

Leave a comment

Filed under Life, Random thoughts, Sanity tips